Read an article earlier and learn that a-so-called successful marriage is because of these 3 key elements.
1) Communication
2) Respect
3) Trust
A good communication requires practice, goodwill, determination and a considerable amount of inborn talent. The second is respect, which in many ways is more important than love.
Love comes and goes, but respect endures, and provides the space for
love to flow after the ebb, which is bound to come in all long marriages
sooner or later.
The third is trust. And this is the hardest of all, because if you have
ever been let down – and we all have – reconstructing the trust is
difficult. This isn't about infidelity, but many small matters – broken
promises, bad intentions, frustrated hopes.
You have to trust, even though you have no guarantee you won't be let
down, and then, if you are let down, trust again, and then again. You
must keep doing this as long as you are humanly able to, and your
marriage will either stand or fall on it. This requires what I call the
power of "forgettory" as opposed to memory. You need to forget and
forget again about any perceived hurts and mistreatment. Dragging the
weight of the past behind you will drag you down in the end.
But
you will never, can never, "get there", because there is nowhere to get
to. A marriage is a moving process, a living thing, and if it stops
being fed with these existential nutrients, it will finally expire.
Complacency and laziness is what kills marriage, far more than lack of
love, and that is why it is often described as hard work. But no work is
ultimately more rewarding.
No comments:
Post a Comment